okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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