Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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