so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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