i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
