I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
