Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
