I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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