I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
