physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
