Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
