Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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