Don't you send me to vm
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
