What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
