margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
