called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
