from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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