so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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