It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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