i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
