I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
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Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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