Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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