..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
