and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
