Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
