Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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