Plan B is the new Plan A
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
