he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
