Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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