You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i will never coherently bang her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
