It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
