dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
