I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
