Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
