Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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