he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
