I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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