He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
