BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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