Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
