Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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