they need to just BURY HIM!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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