i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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