I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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