i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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