EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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