i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My hand turned me down
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
