there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
