We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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