my sisters under your porch take her home
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
