spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
