While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
