At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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