I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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