Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
