All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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