If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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