If i come over, it means nothing
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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