i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Drunk is not a location!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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