did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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