Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So gin and wine won't be happening again
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
